On love and marriage

Photo by Terje Sollie on Pexels.com

I have been silent but not away, always checking new posts and reposting interesting ones. Every time I go silent, I realize how unhappy I am at the world and what it had become (you can check my older post on this matter Writing… and why I stopped it for a while). I am a philosophy teacher and a blogger (on my free time) with a tint of idealism, always hoping for a better world for all of us which is clearly not the case. Maybe we are going through labour, a transitory phase to deliver more consciousness.

On a personal level, I have been busy organizing my wedding. I am sure most of you know how exciting but hectic wedding planning can be. I found some beautiful quotes on love and wedding that I share with you on here, hoping it will bring you some lightness of being.

“We loved with a love that was more than love.”
– Edgar Allan Poe

“Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.”
– Plato

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it be rather a moving sea between the shores of your souls.”
– Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

“When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.”
– Rumi

“ A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers”

-Ruth Graham

What is writing?

Photo by Startup Stock Photos on Pexels.com

(Originally written on October 25th 2012)

As i am sitting here in front of my white screen, it is not obvious for me to write anything, my mind is full of thoughts, ideas, tasks, to-do-lists. Daily life turned us into soldiers in a constant battle against time, wishing we could stretch our days few hours longer than 24. In the circular moving world, the mind is torn apart, too much planning due to too much rationality. We were all brought up on fearless, matter-oriented, wild rationality. We are blocks, living in blocks. The result: our world is a web. Are we unconsciously Hegelian?

Writing is concentration. Clear black on white words that can stop the world for a while, that can free the imagination. Writing is letting go. Writing is drawing images, dancing arabesques on an empty space, making silent music (not very silent, typing is musical). What we get in this experience is chaos, pure immanence, fugitive rays of lights and lines; less poetically, it is energy. Immanent energy. We are not bodies, not souls, but energy, dancing chaotic energy. As long as we are dancing, imagination, creativity, connectivity are saved. Connectivity with the chore of the world , life. Writing saves us.

What is writing? It is dancing.

Where to put the things you don’t want in your head anymore

Have you ever said to yourself “I wish I could just cut off my head, lose my ever thinking brain, and then I would be peaceful” We suffer more often in imagination than in reality Seneca “Why don’t you just live with yourself” yelled my youngest son at his sibling, years ago. He was trying […]

Where to put the things you don’t want in your head anymore

The power of sunset.

Photo by Anand Dandekar on Pexels.com

It is always here transiting from day to night. Sunset is that time of the day where confusion is here. The day is not over yet and the night isn’t very far. . Angst is the feeling accompanying sunset.

Romantics love sunset. It is a period of softness with warm colours stretching out there everywhere. Sunset is the perfect time for a friends’ gathering before everyone goes home. One must keep busy during sunset since loneliness, at sunset, provokes anxiety and loneliness.

Sunset is psychologically more impactful than dawn although both are transitional periods. Whilst dawn is a daily rebirth and awakening, sunset is a reminder of aging, of a dying before darkness sets in.

What I write for?

At the start, I wanted to write to make myself read and heard, for social media is a great place for self expression. I never thought that I had something brilliant to say but the boiling sensation in me was, and is, an indicator that I should write.

My blogging journey began years ago out of desire to write. Little did I know that blogging was hard work and discipline. Little did I know that I will become an addict. So I read, I write and I share interesting posts I find here and there. Because I believe in sharing; generosity is a big value specially in a world of harsh competitiveness.

What I write for? My main question when my posts are not even viewed. On a deeper level, I write because it is therapeutical. Writing is a generous act. None of us would’ve learned anything hadn’t been great teachers and writers to share with us their knowledge through writings. It was ethically and intellectually therapeutical to them as well as it is for me.

The unprecedented desire for routines

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

It is understandable that, in shaky situations, one would like to stick to a routine, any routine, for the sense of security and survival. This is why social media is full of videos, podcasts and posts on routines and practices and this tendency skyrocketed since the beginning of the pandemic.

However is it beneficial?

Neurologists explain that the brain functions in patterns. Once an activity becomes regular, the brain takes it as a pattern and forces the person to do it regularly. Hence the feeling of guilt or confusion in missing the regular habit.

Does it mean that we all must be doing yoga, meditation, daily workouts, journaling, drinking lemon water every morning etc.?

Although the above-mentioned practices are beneficial and recommended, it doesn’t mean every person should be doing them. Maybe one hates journaling, must they force themselves to do it? Maybe one feels uncomfortable with yoga or something else, should they do it in spite of it all?

The answer is no. A routine is a personal (sometimes collective) chosen activity for security, pleasure, health etc. or for any enhancement that leads to a better survival.

The problem when something so private becomes a mainstream on social media, it is highly misunderstood or unproperly applied.

P.S: Starting the 1st of July and for every Saturday of the month, I will publish free philosophy teaching documents. You can find them on my main blog page in “Portfolio”.

Over the past and far beyond: why does the past haunt us?

Haunting past, good and bad memories, good and bad experiences stay somehow vivid. Regrets, remorse, resentment, nostalgia are emotions whose accuracy is questionable. The 20th century French philosopher Henri Bergson defines consciousness as memory. Erase memory, than consciousness is no longer there. Consciousness plays the role of a bridge between past, present and future making them seem as a continuous story. Therefore, historicity is the human consciousness trademark.

However, what is the past more than an amalgam of stories and ideas?

It is nothing. It doesn’t exist. It has “passed”. Although its presence is powerful because it shaped our identity. Sometimes it gets heavy, paralyzing.

So is hanging to the past a sign of a sick or a healthy mind? Can amnesia be a remedy?

The answer is neither nor. It is more about controlling ideas and thoughts fuelled by memories then erasing memories. If time in itself and past events can’t be controlled, one can control, to a certain extend, their inside world.

Oftentimes, one doesn’t want to control their inside world. With control comes freedom and responsibility.

Intentions laundering

Photo by Filipe Delgado on Pexels.com

The idea of any thing being taken away is enough to create multiple insecurities. The feeling of being a loser, of being left behind, of being a tag along, of being stolen, of missing out on other aspects of life are all insecurities. All these and maybe more are cause by the void created after that thing was taken away.

This post is entitled “Intentions laundering” because life is spent hiding or filling the void by behaving in certain ways while laundering intentions. Most of the time this void is unconscious but one would see themselves dragged voluntarily on the same pattern again and again. The pattern is represented as a void filling solution. Justifying the filling can come in different ways: addiction, raging emotions, stress etc. whose objective is laundering intentions in return of sympathy, compassion or even empathy.

Is there anything essentially natural?

There is nothing called natural in itself. Any given repetitive behaviour is perceived as natural by its subject and by others. Therefore, is natural the synonym of repetition?

Rituals and habits are referred to as a second nature. Then, what is the first nature? Speaking of human nature, perhaps the first nature (the core human nature) is the ability to learn, to adapt, to repeat and to evolve. The Swiss philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau defines human nature as “perfectibility”, the capacity of becoming perfect.

This is the reason why breaking habits isn’t an easy task. It is shedding an “old nature”. The brain is a ritual machine, functioning with schemes and patterns followed by rewards if well repeated. Addiction is in this picture. To change habits, to shed the “old nature” requires thought changing and new habits.

Replace, repeat, reward!