The quest for impossible love affairs

Posted on by maylynno

Love, probably the most debated concept, is easy (it should be, right?) But complicated (for sure). The most natural feeling that ties people together has never been less than difficult, up to impossible sometimes.

Following a certain pattern of impossible loves, going from one impossible affair into another, is not a pure coincidence. Digging deeper, this pattern hides a subconscious (or unconscious) reason.

Falling for impossible loves more than once says a fear of commitment. Worse, it reveals a guilt feeling of betraying parents or closed loved ones. An impossible love doesn’t lead to commitment; so one is safe from commitment, guilt and betrayal.

Always falling for the “wrong” person is not a lack of chance. It is an unconscious choice. It is repeating the same experience over and over again. This repeated pattern of a person lies between the myth of Sisyphus and the Stockholm syndrome.

Emancipating oneself from the chain of the absurdity of this repeated heartbreaks requires a mind reset. And this is a long sinuous road of self discovery.

Published by maylynno

Philosophy teacher, PhD. I am a fitness lover and an art enthusiast. I love to write mainly about philosophy and about subjects that matters in our daily life.

46 thoughts on “The quest for impossible love affairs”

  1. So true! I really enjoyed Schopenhauer on the topics of love. Once having a broken heart I got consolation from him pointing out that the survival of our species is dependent on our being involved with love and procreation. It is no small thing 😍

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  2. Since, ironically, everything you wrote does apply to my attitude towards you,
    I totally have to agree with everything you wrote and could add twice as many other controverse entanglements. In fact, I think an entire book could be written on that subject.
    But to cut to the chase:After a long contemplation I found the reason for my contradictory behaviour.

    All reasons I invented for redirecting my sexdrive into nirvana were because
    “Two souls, alas, are housed within my breast,
    And each will wrestle for the mastery there.”
    ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust

    One soul being the physical drive which is strongly intertwined with the ego
    Imagine a really sexy person giving you that “I want you!” look – they don’t want YOU, because they want your BODY.
    And the other one being the divine inner higher self where we see a person for what it is.
    It is similar to someone judging another by their competence in that field without being distracted by their looks. (Would you choose a pretty popstar as a political or science advisor for example?)

    Sexdrive distorts everything. Without it we could see each other clearly for what we are,
    be equally kind to everybody, not just the pretty ones, and communicate about subjects instead of using their content as a tool to communicate animalistic desires in disquise.

    This is further complicated, because people who reaised that distortion were quoted by religions who in time dogmatised those insights into moralistic dogmas, throwing guilt into the already voilatile mix.
    And people who once hooked in the most cases stay together not for love but for either a materialistic symbiosis or fear of not finding another partner in old age anymore.

    So yes, you are right – this requires a tremendous amount of introspection for me not only to listen to the angel vs devil sitting on my shoulder, but to find out what is my individual most constructive evolutionary path.

    If in doubt, I cut it out (or better: postpone it until I find clarity),
    because the multifold consequences of unreflected entanglement can be way more disastrous than the sensual moments I sacrificed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really didn’t know I was writing about you and your feelings towards me! I always thought you were joking! Well I am surprised.

      An introspection is always good. Maybe your feelings towards me are more of a projection on me of whatever you want to find in a partner. Which means that’s not love to start with.

      I am glad you liked my post!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, exactly! What you said is also what I meant.
        I just wanted to explain how my flirtatious energy in general is a purposeful deviation from an entanglement I don’t consider to be real in the first place.

        I think there are in fact VERY few couples who manage to connect through their higher divine self.
        Most think their partner would be a soulmate but when you look closely those usually are symbiotic alliances of the counterpart compensating for ones own underdeveloped aspect.

        I observe how I slowly move out of this entanglement – it’s still interesting how much we are hooked on personal contact. I guess if we all were enlightened, lockdowns would hardly be an issue for all of us.

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      4. However … what I did work out so far is that our identification through our body is a total fake. Our soul is something entirely different – not attached to gender or archetypes which do trigger our ancient memory. You are as little a woman as I am a man – just in this current game. Hence the concept of romantic love is only one stage which at one level slowly becomes irrelevant.

        (I know, it’s unthinkable for those who still are attached to the excitement of finding external completion, so most may disagree with me for now.)

        >

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      10. Ah, then my emotico-thing in my mail-application is wrong, because I searched for an emoticon for “soul” and assumed that would be tha arabic word for it.
        (I would not even know how to look up an arabic word in a dictionary)

        And as for the nobel-peace price: This is terrible how we humans are fooled by authorities, and this, I think is why the lesser intelligent people voted for Trump – they intuitively felt that something is wrong and were hoping for someone to save the day (in a way similar to the Hitler-phenomenon).

        The problem is that neoliberalism or neocon or what it is called fucks up the world by buying all polititians who have to cater to their donating lobbyists in fear to loose taxes. But this is the joke: neoliberlism did set globalisation up not to bring us together (as I was hoping for) but to enable big money to be disloyal, so the more national polititians cater to neoliberalism, the more they dig their own grave.

        Obama having gotten the Nobel-Peace-price was an equal joke (even though he is intelligent and likeable), but my simple-minded mother got it instantly when she said that this would be too early for him to get one, because he just started his presidency.

        As it turned out he then also played the neoliberal game and most of his staff were from the privately owned federal reservebank, so here we are, 8 years later at the exact same point as before – nothing substantial changed.

        This is why Corona may now trigger people so much that they start to rebel like you did rebel in Lebanon since a while now. The explosion was the straw which finally broke the camel’s back.
        The danger now is that hopefully some larger structures won’t put a foot in it again to only serve you old wine in new bottles.
        This is probably what they try to do with Trump now.

        Trump shouted big against anything, but in fact he also is a neoliberalist who never touched the Federal Reserve as he promised and on top of that also employs a bunch of them, for the simple reason that he is a self-serving asshole who only cares that he looks good for this election.

        At the moment Biden looks so weak that I would not even be surprised that the gallupable Americans vote for him again despite it being obvious that he caused 200k Covid-deaths by his deliberate neglicence (which recently even was documented on tape). His idiot-followers don’t see what they don’t want to see,
        and Biden is just another mainstream neoliberalist, but the foks are to stupid to look into the Green and Libertarian parties which I both find quite interesting, despite them being seemingly on the opposite site of the spectrum.

        If you ever want to watch an easy-digestable documentary on what I mean you can watch
        “Thrive”, which is available in many different languages. I just put the arab version for you out here, but originally it is in english:

        <

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      11. To see the US with these 2 candidates running for presidency is sinister. I don’t know who is worse than whom among the 2 but anyway both are bad. Will watch the doc. Thanks.
        Btw, you don’t need to look for the arabic version everytime, I am multilingual 😎

        Liked by 1 person

      12. I so agree with you with those 2 candidates, which is why I wrote my article about the failing two-party-system of the US. Unfortunately my writing seems to be overlooked, so I am reducing it, because this may not be my calling; but often I feel as if I get the zeitgeist perfectly, just hardly anyone does notice. “The cassandra-effect” 😩

        I know, I know, you are a language-genius, speaking a handful of them fluently. The emoticon was a coincidence to be in arabic – nothing else came up for “soul”. And about the documentary: I actually thought that you could watch this with a bunch of friends (who likely don’t have your caliber), maybe even with a group of people, because it puts it all into perspective and may give you folks in your despair a glimpse of hope.

        Even if I dished now 3 things for you to look into, don’t forget them – you won’t regret it 😏

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      14. (I liked my own comment – my quest for a possible love affair with myself) “I’m a great guy – I am just amazing!” (Jesus, I start to sound like Trump 🥴)

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      19. Since this threat is about love: Do you remember when you were a teenager and fell so deeply in love that you saw the one you had a crush on in every person? Let’s make a test: Listen to this woman with a hoarse voice and let the love flow into you.

        The one that comes to your mind will be the one you feel most attracted to.

        Liked by 1 person

      21. I just wrote a really long crazy reply but self-censored it for your protection.

        At least I give you a tipp about the “how to…” youtube playlist from the woman: Think of “the Donald” 😡🇺🇸.

        >

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Thinking of your article again, I remembered that as always there are two sides to the coin:
    I started replying that I myself purposely flirt with impossible people like you,
    and this morning realised why:

    In the past I experienced how hurtful it was to be left, so I now avoid as much as possible to even get half-heartedly into another relationship (which in the long run only would mean that I would hurt someone else).

    I guess our ancestors approach of life-long faithfulness did work with moral shackles, but now that we did liberate ourselves from them, the suffering of being left behind is inevitable.
    I guess none of both versions are better, maybe the least damaging one the life of a hermit which only has the disadvantage of ones own loneliness and lack of sensuality, but therefore avoids the hidden karmic guilt.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad that my post made you reflect on your impossible loves that you are seeking. Your testimony here tells me that my post, written after a conversation with a friend, is not completely foolish!

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      1. Thank you for your response, and yes, your article was worth being written!

        However, I think you misunderstood that I am seeking impossible loves.
        I thought I made it clear from the beginning that my flirtatious behaviour in safe areas (like half around the world) merely reflects my residual sensuality I am in the process of letting to fade out without putting a moral lid on it as the catholic church for example has done for thousands of years.

        Obviously this still is a theme for me, because it takes a long time to come to terms with ones own sexuality in a relaxed way. The way I put it in context is to distinquish certain aspects of “archetypal” attractions from the soul which does reside in that person.
        That then makes me approach real-life affairs with more caution, because I see the potential of the partner to be hurt when they still define themself by the continued attraction they get from their lover.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I am not denying nor criticising what you said in your previous replies. I am totally for people to be free in their sexuality/love and I couldn’t care less about the Catholic church; I was born a Lutheran Protestant! We do exist in this part of the world lol.

        Speaking of which and on a funny note, the only place in the world where Protestants are cooler than Catholics is Germany 🙂

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      3. Tell me more about the protestant catholic thing around Lebanon. In Germany the Calvinists (origin of protestants) were VERY uptight – not even jam was allowed on bread etc. The catholics were more sensual, had carnival etc. I think you had contact with the north of Germany which then again is totally different – in certain respects the south and north are like two different countries, but no one notices anymore – only if you look closely.

        And how is it in Lebanon?

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      4. Protestants are a minority and they are 2 kinds: the uptight (more american church influenced) and the relaxed ones (german influenced).

        You are right about the north and the south. Munich was to me such an uptight place with rude people whilst Berlin was the best place ever!

        Lebanon is a mess, simply put!

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      5. 🇱🇧 ≈ ⛪️📿✝️🤷‍♀️🛐🙏☪️🤷🏿‍♂️🕋 Your country is so confusing ! Meanwhile I at least found a couple of videos which do explain the Lebanese political chaos in a concise way.

        It looks as if the USA currently also is on the brink of civil war – also those uptight white Anglo-saxon protestants – I am at a loss how far behind those people are when this country prides itself to be this “great nation”.

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      7. I so agree! Pure madness! Plus voter suppression en masse – this is like a sarcastic dark comedy. Seriously – a few decades ago we would have said that such a portrayal of US-politics would be totally over the top. It’s this Pluto-return which brings up all negative sides of the USA. The worst being half of their nation believing that the other side would tell lies when merely face-palming themselves in shock. The niveau has sunk so deep that a friend in the USA contemplated about moving away. I also will soon blog a video about how the USA is on the brink of a civil war. I don’t know whether you are currently worse of or whether the USA is. Well, let’s see how Trump handles his covid – at least for today he stopped tweeting.📱

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      9. And coming back to the subject of your article: You know what the most difficult love affair is for me? To love myself 😲 (because in order to do that I first have to “know myself” as the ancient Greeks proposed).

        Liked by 1 person

  5. … and since I highjacked your tweet about love to talk about Trump I also remembered that you once said that the Jewish banking system was one thing Hitler criticised righteously.

    So one thought came up about the similarities between Hitler and Trump:
    If they would have put their energy into more constructive ways, both could have changed the world for better but made now use of it:

    1.) Trump could have changed the unfair banking system and stopped the privately owned federal reserve bank which devalued the gold-standard in favour of private bankers.

    2.)He could have broken the unfair US-electoral college. The 2 party system.

    And here is why he did not deliver:

    1.) He promised to audit the Federal Reserve, but did not dare to do so, because they threatened to raise the interest rate, so economy under his term would have declined.

    2.) Originally he was a member of the Reform Party and should have run for them – having given them the necessary 5% to get into the 3rd party game and therewith could have altered the lethal 2-party system.

    Both he did not do merely for his personal gains, because he wanted the utmost power.

    Had he sacrificed personal success, he could have used his determinism and aggressive potential
    to have been remembered to be a visionary who did change the world:
    but because he was too greedy for power and fame, now he merely will be remembered as a selfish, undiplomatic president who neglected his people and antagonised his allies.

    Lesson to be learned: No energy is good or bad, it just has to be put in the right place – choose how you use yours wisely!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, no energy or tool is good or bad in itself: it all depends on how it is used.
      They both have a lot in common but let’s say that Hitler apparel was more elegant. Did you know that Hugo Boss himself designed the nazi military clothes? I still find them timeless.
      Unfortunately, over this part of the world, Hitler has so many fans. Little do they know that he would’ve killed them too.

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      1. That is really interesting with Hugo Boss! I did not know that. The thing is that the Nazi-ideology is very much two-sworded – even from a spiritual perspective: * They had tons of runes on their Hugo Boss Uniforms – being in tune with ancient spirituality, * they followed an occult principle of a dark sun; and * they did believe in the “Übermensch” (funny that the Kriya I do also does promote one to become a “superhuman”). I think that this actually is a good thing to elevate oneself above the average oblivion. The only problem was that they did use it destructively – instead of elevating themselves, they degraded others as “Untermenschen” (sub-humans). This is why in Raja Yoga ethics is so important – one will discover ones own divinity on the way, so in order not to let that snap into a fascist hubris a sound ethics is required – after all if god is everywhere it obviously is also clear that there are no lesser or superior beings. And this brings me back to your threat: To worship a specific person in form of romantic love therefore also is silly, because that person shurely is not more love-worthy than all beings. (sorry my Lynn Chen, and that means even you 😉

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      2. Nazis were not simple criminals. They were much more than that with spiritual symbols and their Roman like way to present themselves to the world. This is why they still fascinate a lot.

        Worshipping is dangerous; love is not.

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      4. … and since you disabled replies to your minimalistic sketches: Your one-line-method is probably a way I, who can’t draw at all could get into it – I will try this!🖼 If I will end up being the next Picasso I will mention you in my autobiography.👨🏻‍🎨 I love your horses (dasein) 🐴 !

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