How to heal from a heartbreak (according to a Nietzschean perspective)

#philosophy #philotherapy #nietzsche #nietzschequotes


“You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame: how could you become new, if you had not first become ashes?”

― Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Who has never had a heartbreak in his life, doesn’t live! For pain and suffering are a part of life, no matter how much we try to protect ourselves and our loved ones from pain and loss and grief, they will all occur. And the healing is a long process; that been said, the memory of it will never completely fade away. Damn it! It happened to me, many times, but the last time it did, oh dear it was bad. It was the abrupt end of a 3 year love story and I was left with nothing. Dazed and confused, the world looked different to me: and it made me curse, it made me yell and it made me understand how powerful love is in taking over all of our minds and souls and bodies. And how more violent is the loss of it. Heartbreak is a violent violation, just like rape is: something so deep, so intertwined with our inner self, taken away. Nothing fair about it. And not a single question made sense. Was it so painful because love was so deep? Or was it painful because I was older and supposedly wiser, and ended up more stupid? Is there any meaning to all this anyway?

Yes there is: a heartbreak is the best reason to think outside the box to recreate the life I wanted. That eureka moment came to me when I stumbled upon this text and no one is better than Nietzsche the dynamite, to awaken and strengthen a broken hearted:

“No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life. There may be countless trails and bridges and demigods who would gladly carry you across; but only at the price of pawning and forgoing yourself. There is one path in the world that none can walk but you. Where does it lead? Don’t ask, walk!”

― Friedrich Nietzsche, Schopenhauer as Educator

Turning point in my life. So I decided to walk towards what I love to do, and learned a lot during the walking process:

”Happiness is the feeling that power increases – that resistance is being overcome.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche, The Anti-Christ

A famous quote that I reformulated in a daily practice only to learn the following:

  • happiness can’t be built on people but on actions/activities, for people can leave anytime taking happiness away with them
  • happiness needs self-esteem which is a core confidence that can’t be taken away
  • self-esteem is a will of power and it can only be built through a progressive activity that one loves
  • happiness becomes a will of power, an affirmation of life

Two years later after my heart got broken, I can say I have never been in a better place in my life. As if everything fell in its place. Trust me it works. I shared those tips with people I know and now I am sharing it with you. I can’t wait for your comments…

“Pardon me, my friends, I have ventured to paint my happiness on the wall.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra





3 thoughts on “How to heal from a heartbreak (according to a Nietzschean perspective)”

  1. In 2003 I found myself in that situation. Interestingly it was Schopenhauer that came to my rescue. I found him in the book by Alain de Botton – Consolations of Philosophy. I think it said that we shouldn’t be surprised when our worlds are turned upside down by a broken heart in that love and intimacy is required to continue the human race – it is such an important task. No wonder we are thrown when it does work out how we want it to.

    Liked by 3 people

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